


it'd be better if we didn't know each other

by dearzoemurphy



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Anthology, Canon Compliant, Episode: s01e25 Pascal's Triangle Revisited, Episode: s02e01 Anthropology 101, Episode: s02e04 Basic Rocket Science, Episode: s02e10 Mixology Certification, Episode: s02e13 Celebrity Pharmacology, Episode: s02e18 Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy, Episode: s02e20 Competitive Wine Tasting, Episode: s02e21 Paradigms Of Human Memory, Episode: s02e22 Applied Anthropoly and Culinary Arts, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mid-Canon, Snapshots, one section includes vague nsfw descriptions, that's a lot of episode tags i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24502693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearzoemurphy/pseuds/dearzoemurphy
Summary: She didn’t want to say yes. She shouldn’t say yes. There was no possible universe in which this ended favorably for them or anyone else.“I suppose I may need someone to unzip me,” she said instead.Jeff smirked, happy to have won another battle. “Well then, what are we waiting for?”A series of moments from the year that Jeff and Britta spent together. Starts during s01e25 and ends with s02e22.
Relationships: Annie Edison/Jeff Winger (mentioned), Britta Perry & The Study Group, Britta Perry/Jeff Winger, Britta Perry/Lukka (mentioned), Britta Perry/Troy Barnes (mentioned), Jeff Winger & the Study Group, Shirley Bennett & Britta Perry
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	it'd be better if we didn't know each other

**Author's Note:**

> some spirit of j/b fanworks has possessed me. not sure why, but I'm glad for my writer's block to be dissipating! hope you all enjoy!
> 
> title comes from Good in Bed by Dua Lipa (a song with major j/b vibes despite Jeff apparently being bad in bed)

1.

Britta gazed across the cafeteria towards Jeff, who was using the current commotion as a way to sneak out of the room. He met her gaze, as a sad little smile crossed her face. Despite being several yards away from her, Jeff opened his mouth as if he were about to say something. However, instead of going to her so that she could hear him, he turned and headed for the hallway. An unexpected pang of sadness hit Britta in the chest, her face falling in response. 

Shirley noticed the silent interaction and went to comfort Britta, patting her gently on the arm. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. Do you want to go slash his tires? I’ll help you slash his tires."

Britta moved to face her and plastered a fake smile on her face. “No, it’s okay. I'm not mad, I just wanted to win the dumb competition with Slater,” she said. It felt like a lie, even though she didn’t want it to be. 

“Well, quite frankly, I think Jeffery made a bad decision. He must not understand what he’s missing out on,” Shirley said.

“Aw, thanks, Shirley,” Britta said, moving to hug her friend.

Shirley returned the embrace, bringing her face close to Britta’s ear. “I’m serious. We could ruin his entire life in 30 minutes flat," she whispered.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but not tonight,” she said, laughing a little too loudly. 

Even though deep down inside, she wanted nothing more than to smash his headlights, slash his tires, and ruin the paint job on his stupid Lexus.

2.

“You slept with her and then kissed me?!” Annie yelled. 

“What?!?!”

The entire room went silent, everyone in shock from that revelation. They barely noticed Abed’s wedding entourage enter (playing a song that he’d clearly taken less than a few minutes to write). 

Britta wasn’t sure how to feel. Of course their entire “relationship” had been a giant pissing contest. This was how her and Jeff dealt with their feelings for one another. Nothing could be sincere. Nothing could be meaningful. It was all wrapped in a million layers of irony or sarcasm, there was no world in which they could be happy together. But this? This was different. This wasn’t a part of the game. They could hurt themselves, sure. But they weren’t supposed to involve other people. When had he even had the _time_ to kiss their 18 year old friend?

“Jeff made out with Annie,” Troy informed Abed, calling Britta out of her own head and back to the present. 

“What? When? Where?”

“Yeah, where?” she echoed, crossing her arms. 

“That’s inappropriate. I’m assuming on the mouth,” Pierce chimed in.

“After the Transfer Dance,” Annie said sheepishly, wringing her hands nervously. 

Something in Britta snapped. How the hell could Jeff’s instinct lead him to turn down two gorgeous adult women and find his way to a teenager? Especially one who had been in a long term relationship until that very night?

“I tell you that I love you, then you go and stick your tongue into a teenager?!” she exclaimed.

“What is _wrong_ with you, Jeffery?” Shirley added. Britta decided then that they should have gone to key Jeff’s car that night. He certainly would have been occupied long enough for them to do some real damage.

“Shirley, since you have clearly failed to grasp the central insipid metaphor of those Twilight books you devour, let me explain it to you. Men are monsters who crave young flesh, the end!” Jeff roared at her, turning back around to face Britta, “At least we have the decency to keep it a secret instead of blurting ‘I love you’ to everyone who sleeps with us.”

“Oh, please, I never loved you!” she screamed back, wanting to hurt him. She wanted to see his face fall. She wanted him to feel a fraction of the pain he was causing both her and Annie.

“Ah-ha! I win, I win, I win! In your face!” he cheered, Britta’s words clearly having the opposite of their intended effect.

She felt her anger bubbling over, becoming so outraged that she could barely string a sentence together in her mind. He may have won this battle, but she couldn’t let him win the war.

3\. 

Of course, all was easily forgiven by all parties involved after a good old fashioned Winger speech. The fact that it had gotten them an automatic A since the professor had tried to strangle him in response was an added bonus. And maybe seeing a 90 year old woman beat the shit out of Jeff had been good for Britta. It was also impossible to stay mad at him once she saw him lying in a hospital bed, bandaged and wounded and looking more pathetic than ever.

So everything had gone back to normal, the group continuing on with their usual shenanigans; crashing a party full of lawyers, getting into an accidental oil fight, arguing over Pierce’s religion, and piloting a historic space simulation launch.

Tired from the most recent of their escapades, Britta was collecting herself on a bench outside the library. It wasn’t every day that one found themselves locked in a Winnebago being towed who knows where, and she was still coming off of an adrenaline rush from the whole experience.

“Come here often?” a familiar voice asked. She turned around and was greeted by the sight of Jeff leaning up against the doorway.

She cracked a smile. “I’ve been known to stop by on occasion,” she said, matching his flirtatious tone. Britta knew that this could only end one way. However, she didn’t feel particularly motivated to bring this journey to a premature halt.

“What are you still doing here?” Jeff asked, taking a seat next to her. 

“I’m not sure. Just needed a moment to collect myself. That was kind of intense,” Britta said.

“Yeah. It’s best not to think about the gravity of the situations we find ourselves in,” he said, nodding thoughtfully.

She laughed, leaning back against the bench. “I guess so. We’re pretty good at glossing over our issues.”

The pair sat in silence for a moment, both unsure of what to say but unwilling to get up and leave. 

“Well, I suppose I should go get out of this,” Britta said eventually, gesturing to her stark white jumpsuit.

“Do you want some help with that?” Jeff asked in a low voice. He looked over to her with a certain expression, his teeth grazing his bottom lip ever so slightly. 

She didn’t want to say yes. She shouldn’t say yes. There was no possible universe in which this ended favorably for them or anyone else.

“I suppose I may need someone to unzip me,” she said instead.

Jeff smirked, happy to have won another battle. “Well then, what are we waiting for?”

4.

Neither of them were sure how they ended up making out in the back of Jeff’s car. That wasn’t unusual on its own. But to be doing it while in the back seat next to Abed while Troy was walking Annie up to her apartment? That certainly wasn’t normal. 

However, no extraneous circumstances could stop their roaming hands as their lips kept locking, a sort of neediness underlying everything they were doing. Jeff gave Britta’s jacket a desperate tug, wanting nothing more in the world than to get it off of her. He peeled one side down before Britta suddenly pulled away.

“No, wait, wait, wait. What are we doing?” she asked, their faces still millimeters apart.

Jeff pulled away as well, feeling lightheaded. He didn’t know if it was a side effect of Britta or of the copious amounts of scotch he'd had that night. “Yeah, what are we doing?” he asked. 

As Britta gazed into his light blue eyes, she wondered if the question was meant to be applicable this specific situation or their affair in general. 

“This is a bad idea, right?” 

“Yeah.”

They pulled themselves back together, Jeff helping to adjust her jacket as they settled into place. Britta ran a hand through her hair, unable to ignore how she already missed Jeff’s hands being tangled within it. However, Troy re-entered the car before she could say anything about that.

“Okay. I flew off the handle earlier. I apologize,” Troy said as he buckled his seatbelt.

His friends sat in silence, unsure of how to respond.

“They were making out,” Abed piped up.

“Abed!” Britta exclaimed, the pair whipping their heads around to look at him.

“Why the hell would you say that?” Jeff asked angrily.

“Why do it in front of me? I’m not a coat rack,” Abed retorted, keeping his gaze locked straight ahead.

“Abed, no one likes a tattletale,” Troy said, a little sullenly.

The car fell silent as they continued down the road, every member of the back seat looking down in shame or embarrassment. 

“Happy birthday, Troy,” Britta said, feeling extraordinarily guilty.

“Thanks.”

“You’re a man now,” Jeff added, cracking a small smile. He turned towards Britta, intending to ask if they were going to his place or hers. There was, of course, the small detail of Troy driving his car. But that wasn’t what stopped him from asking. 

He wasn’t quite sure what did. 

5.

“Britta left her phone. She’s getting a text message,” Abed said, glancing down to the phone lying on the table next to him.

“Let me see,” Jeff said, snatching it up. He was still feeling upset from earlier when Britta had complained about having to text him whenever they weren't together. It was frustrating, considering that he simultaneously wanted to talk to her and keep his distance. The impersonal nature of flirting over text made him feel safer than when he had to look at her shining blue eyes and her infuriating wry smile. 

“Oh, it’s from Marcus,” he said, pausing to read, “I’ll be at the show tomorrow night. Can’t wait to see you, are you really wearing a cat costume?”

Had Britta invited someone to their dumb little play? Why on Earth would she do that? And was she really seeing someone else? It wasn’t like they were exclusive. That was an option that had never even been on the table. But he hadn’t seen anyone else since after their rocket launch caper and somewhat expected her to have done the same. So, he decided to be a dick to Marcus.

“Well, Marcus, you are in luck,” he said, starting to type frantically.

“What are you doing?” Abed asked, face twisting up with concern. 

“Dragging Britta kicking and screaming into 1997,” Jeff replied, taking out his wicked jealousy on her phone’s poor keyboard.

But he wasn’t _actually_ jealous. Not one little bit. Not like a boyfriend would be. 

\---

“Hey, Marcus. I’m Jeff. I’m like, uh, Britta’s boyfriend,” he said, the word feeling unnatural and clunky on his tongue.

“Look, dude, she started it. She’s just as into me,” the kid replied defensively. Jeff took note of the large bouquet in his hands and thought that he must not know Britta well at all. She would hate the size and number of different colors. Plus, she’d only begrudgingly accept flowers from a sustainable florist, not anything like the supermarket arrangement Marcus had brought.

“No, listen, I’m not mad. I was just fooling around and I sent those texts,” Jeff admitted.

“Gross.”

“Yeah. It’s disgusting, sending those pictures to your aunt,” he added, getting legitimately upset. Only a little bit.

“More disgusting than what you texted to an underage boy?” Marcus fired back.

“I didn’t know you were you!”

“I didn’t know you weren’t my aunt.”

“Okay. Let’s just call this a draw. Britta doesn’t need to ever know about this,” Jeff conceded.

“Okay, I’d be happy to, for a price,” Marcus said.

It was a shame that she’d worn the one with black lace and pink roses today; that had been one of his favorites.

6.

She wasn’t exactly sure why she’d tried to sleep with Lukka. Or why she’d kissed Troy. Actually, she did know. But she didn’t want to acknowledge it.

She was getting too comfortable with Jeff. They were falling into a routine like she hadn’t with any other casual hookup or friends with benefits. Especially after Troy’s birthday, when they decided to let go of all fears and inhibitions about _them_ being a bad idea. He knew what her usual order from the Thai place down the street from her apartment was. He was close to learning the names of all of her cats. He always made sure to have travel size shampoo and conditioner available whenever she slept over at his place. Sure, he might have kept his own toiletries carefully locked away, but she still had learned what brand of almond milk he preferred and how he liked having the throw pillows on his couch arranged. 

While kissing Lukka, all she could think about (other than his genocidal past) was that she missed the feeling of Jeff’s stubble scratching against her chin. She’d hoped that kissing Troy would give her the emotional connection that she thought was missing from Jeff. Neither distraction worked. Her newfound connection with Troy had been based on a lie, but even before the truth had come out, whatever had happened between them didn’t make her feel as good as Jeff did.

This couldn’t go on for much longer. They were getting sloppier, so she was positive that they were going to get caught sometime soon. And once they were caught, it was likely neither one of them would want to continue. Britta wasn’t sure why the thought of that caused a sinking feeling in her stomach.

However, when Jeff’s hand was resting on her knee under the study room table, she couldn’t think of much else. Not when it kept slowly creeping up her thigh. Not when they kept innocently scooting their chairs closer to the table so that he could move his hand further and further up underneath her corduroy skirt. Not when she had to bite her lip and look down, avoiding eye contact with everyone sitting around the table. Especially one devilish Jeff Winger.

She definitely wasn’t thinking later that night when she was laying on the edge of his bed, hair fanned out around her, eyes closed in ecstasy as she desperately tugged on his hair to keep his head between her thighs.

That was a battle she considered herself to have won.

7.

It ended exactly how Britta thought it would. Jeff reacted exactly how she thought he would; with calculated indifference to avoid getting too personal. So that’s why she bitterly said “it’s you” before turning and leaving the study room.

Jeff would never admit how hard it was to watch her walk away. Sure, he had been the one to pursue her. He had been the one to keep chasing her, bar him leaving her behind at the Transfer Dance. He had done everything he could to keep her around and filled as many of his nights as he could with her. But it wasn’t like he had ever been her boyfriend, or anything.

His lack of feelings for Britta were precisely why he ended up at L Street, drinking alone and forlornly tracing the patterns on the countertop with his finger.

When someone slid into the seat next to him despite the bar being almost completely empty, he didn’t even look up.

“Well hey there, stranger.”

“Did you know I’d be here?” he asked, still keeping his gaze locked on the counter.

“No. I kind of wanted to drink alone,” Britta said. Jeff tried to ignore the mournful tone in her voice. 

“So did I,” he replied.

Britta bit her lip and placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to bristle at her touch. 

“I’m sorry about earlier. I just got upset once I realized all of the shit we’d caused. We…we hurt them, in a way,” she said, Jeff only nodding along, “We were so wrapped up in each other that we didn’t realize what everyone else was going though.”

“Were we _that_ wrapped up in each other?” he asked bitterly.

“Jeff, don’t take this in a weird way, but I’m pretty sure that I've had sex with you more times than I've had sex with anyone else,” Britta said, taken aback.

He shrugged. “Fair enough. I guess I could say the same about you.”

She rolled her eyes. “This is why we would never work,” she grumbled.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re so fucking guarded! And you refuse to admit what people mean to you! To yourself and others,” Britta exclaimed.

Jeff looked up to glare at her. “I could say the same about you.”

The pair fell silent. A bartender stopped by to get Britta’s drink order and asked if she was on Jeff’s tab.

“No, I-”

“Yeah. She’s with me,” he cut in.

Britta gave him a look of confusion, Jeff brushing it off with a casual shrug. “You paid for Thai last time. Figured I should even out the scale,” he said.

“Okay.”

Her drink came, letting them sip in silence for a few more moments. Jeff studied her profile when he thought she wasn’t looking, noting the way her nose curved upwards and how her brows arched delicately as her face twisted up in concentration.

“I have a bad idea,” Jeff said eventually.

“I’m sure I have the exact same one,” Britta replied.

“My place or yours?”

“Yours. I want to do it in your shower one last time.”

“You’re really gross, Perry. You know that, right?” 

Britta smirked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I apologize for nothing.”

8.

She brought a small human into the world today. A little sack of flesh, bones, and organs that would grow into a real human person. Of course, she couldn’t have done it without Jeff’s encouragement. They had settled back into a sort of awkward kind of friendship, better off than she’d thought they would be. So it wasn’t weird when they stood over the baby that she had helped bring into the world and admired it together.

“Can you believe that’s how we come into this world? Screaming, crying, and covered in crap?” Jeff asked, “Then somewhere along the line, we get it into our heads that we’re destined for greatness?”

“We are. I just yanked a little dude out of my friend!” Britta said excitedly, a genuine smile spreading across her face.

“Yeah. I guess we passed Anthropology,” Jeff quipped.

Britta nodded, still gazing at the newest addition to the Bennett family. “Look at how teeny his hands are!”

“They’re so little. His fingers are like Good and Plenties,” the brunet observed.

“I know, I wanna eat them!” Britta cooed, “Which is lame,” she added quickly.

“Totally.”

They turned to one another and nodded solemnly, silently agreeing to never bring up this moment ever again. 

There was one thought that Jeff couldn’t quite shake. When he looked at Shirley holding little Ben, he realized how much he wanted that. He wanted a stable relationship and a wife, eventually. He wanted to have a family of his own. He wanted to dote over his kid, teach them how to play catch, get them a dog, and never let them down the way he had been. But he would never tell a single soul any of that.

He certainly would never tell Britta that in that fantasy world, his fantasy wife happened to look quite a lot like her.

**Author's Note:**

> I physically Could Not help myself with that ending. writing angsty endings is not my strong suit. anyway, leave any thoughts/opinions/critique/etc. down below! I hope you enjoyed and look forward to hearing from you! <3


End file.
